updating statement

Author: vsoch

about/personal-statement-nsochat.md

@@ -1,16 +1,15 @@
 # Natacha Villamia Sochat
 
-The conceptual nature of this proposal embodies how an open society benefits from all of its members participating in its well-being. 
-"The whole can be greater than any one of its parts" an old but true cliché. This is a core tenet of Open Source values.
+The conceptual nature of this proposal embodies how an open society benefits from all of its members participating in its well-being. ‘The whole can be greater than any one of its parts’, an old but true cliché. This is a core tenet of Open Source values. 
 
-As a child of immigrants I am very aware of being UpRooted. As an adult, rather than viewing cultural uprooting as a loss, 
-I see the world a fuller, richer condition in which the seemingly chaotic disruption of clashing cultures actually results in the creation of stronger hybrid roots.
+As a child of immigrants I am very aware of being UpRooted. As an adult, rather than viewing cultural uprooting as a loss, I see the world a fuller, richer condition in which the seemingly chaotic disruption of clashing cultures actually results in the creation of stronger hybrid roots. 
 
-I will create an paintings that symbolize connectedness and strength. These paintings and objects will not be a wall of exclusion. They will embody the spirit of an open source society.
+My paintings that symbolize connectedness, collaboration, and the strength of this process. These paintings and objects will not be a wall of exclusion. They will embody the spirit of an open source society.
 
 As an artist and biologist I use trees as a metaphor for connectedness on the microscopic and macroscopic scale.
-We are inviting the public to participate in an art process [via the web](https://vsoch.github.io/opensource-art/about/), as well as allowing me as an artist to express the strength of inclusiveness with paintings. These paintings will represent how we are all connected, and how we need a society that does not build walls, but rather facilitates strength by inclusion. My collaborator Vanessa Sochat is a software engineer that embodies open source values. She will be creating the site where the public may participate in this inclusive event.
-The work of the public contributors will be visible by opening the URL provided. People may view it on their phones, their tablets, or their computers. 
+We are inviting the public to participate in an art process [via the web](https://vsoch.github.io/opensource-art/about/, as well as allowing me as an artist to express the strength of inclusiveness with painting. These paintings will represent how we are all connected, and the strength of a society that does not build walls, but rather facilitates growth by inclusion. My collaborator Vanessa Sochat is a software engineer that embodies open source values. She will be creating the site where the public may participate in this inclusive event.
 
-I am using crocheting as a connector to the paintings because for me as an artist it involves the hand and my labor. The hand is the mind, and labor is a valuable social force that always needs to be valued. In addition, the project uses Github as the medium in its process. GitHub as well as RedHat embody open source values.
- 
+I am using crocheting as a connector to the paintings because it involves the hand and my labor. The hand is the mind, and labor is a valuable social force that always needs to be valued.
+
+In addition, the project uses Github as the medium in its process. GitHub as well as RedHat embody open source values.
+The entire project is also [available online](https://vsoch.github.io/opensource-art/).