diff --git a/_config.yml b/_config.yml index 302495f..2614118 100644 --- a/_config.yml +++ b/_config.yml @@ -25,6 +25,7 @@ github_username: bsclifton linkedin_username: bsclifton # Build settings +show_excerpts: true markdown: kramdown theme: minima plugins: diff --git a/_layouts/default-landing.html b/_layouts/default-extended.html similarity index 100% rename from _layouts/default-landing.html rename to _layouts/default-extended.html diff --git a/_layouts/home-extended.html b/_layouts/home-extended.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5ad15c7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_layouts/home-extended.html @@ -0,0 +1,34 @@ +--- +layout: default +--- + +
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diff --git a/_posts/2008-05-12-connecting-with-designer-of-cpp.md b/_posts/2008-05-12-connecting-with-designer-of-cpp.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f2709b6 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2008-05-12-connecting-with-designer-of-cpp.md @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Connecting with the designer of C++" +description: "C++ has played a huge role in my professional career. On a whim, I reached out to its creator, Bjarne Stroustrup. He replied and even sent me an autograph!" +date: 2008-05-12 18:49:07 -0700 +categories: "c++" +--- diff --git a/_posts/2009-05-23-godaddy-techfest-2009.md b/_posts/2009-05-23-godaddy-techfest-2009.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e4ea66a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2009-05-23-godaddy-techfest-2009.md @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "GoDaddy TechFest 2009" +description: "Pictures from the 2009 TechFest that GoDaddy does every year for its technical staff. This year I got to meet Candice Michelle, the original GoDaddy girl." +date: 2009-05-23 11:59:56 -0700 +categories: "godaddy" +--- diff --git a/_posts/2010-10-23-honeymoon-trip.md b/_posts/2010-10-23-honeymoon-trip.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9763bb1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2010-10-23-honeymoon-trip.md @@ -0,0 +1,149 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Our honeymoon" +description: "Our honeymoon travelogue. We cruised California's Scenic Highway One starting in Orange County and following the coast up to San Francisco." +date: 2010-10-23 20:03:10 -0700 +categories: "travel" +--- + +Maggie and I at the rehearsal dinner + +The whole thing started off at a restaurant in Phoenix Arizona called Different Pointe of View. It's Saturday, April 3rd 2010; the big day. We’re getting married. Everyone is seated and I’m standing hidden, off to the side, with the best man (my brother) and the officiant. We’re waiting for a signal so we can walk up, center stage. + +The woman I’m about to say "I do" to, Maggie... we came here to this restaurant on our first real date. The food here is top notch and I knew she would be able to appreciate the whole dining experience being that she’s a chef. + +She loved it. Exactly one year after that first date, we came back here to celebrate. It was the fourth of July, 2009. From our table we could see the whole Phoenix skyline. All kinds of fireworks are bursting in the air. The staff added a lot of small touches without me asking, like "Happy Anniversary" written on the dessert. After sharing a great meal, I held her hand, took a deep breath, and popped the question. + +Us after the first kiss + +I ended up picking California for the trip. Maggie is a chef who was trained at Le Cordon Bleu Scottsdale and she had never been to San Francisco. We could start off in Orange County where she has family and cruise the beautiful Highway 1 up the coast along the way. It’s early April and the weather outside is amazing; we can drive with the top down in our SL 500. + +## Day one + +The day after the wedding we hit the road. Our first stop was the OC. We left Phoenix around 1:30pm taking I-10 west. The drive is pretty boring; lots of empty desert. We got to California and right about the time we hit the CA-91, there was an earthquake that hit Baja; later on we found out that it was a 7.2 magnitude. We didn't feel it but the traffic came to a dead stop. + +I always forget how crazy people are here in California. We are stuck in completely bumper to bumper traffic with motorcycles lane stripping left and right, people are blasting music and drinking booze in their car. We saw this couple in a car in the HOV lane having sex in the passenger seat while their friend was driving and honking trying to get everyone’s attention. + +After we finally got off CA-91 and got to a toll-road on our way to I-5, the traffic disappeared and driving was finally smooth again. We got to San Juan Capistrano just after 7pm and met with Maggie's family. They're all really nice people, it was great to see them. They cooked us a delicious homemade dinner and gave us a place to stay for the night. + +## Day two + +We got some really good breakfast at a Carniceria in San Juan Capistrano called "El Campeon". It’s one of the best places that I’ve ever eaten at. Since we were in the area we stopped just down the street at a place called Mission San Juan Capistrano. + +Mission San Juan Capistrano + +Mission San Juan Capistrano was a settlement that was first built by the Spanish in the late 1700’s. There’s a chapel here that has actively been in use since 1782. You get a chance to see all the buildings the Monks lived in during their time here. Given how new America is compared to places like Europe, it was really cool to see all these old gardens, buildings, and ruins from the 18th century. There’s an audio tour you can do but it was kind of stupid. We just walked around and read from the signs. + +Our SL in front of the MB Classic Center + +Later we headed over to Irvine to go to the Mercedes-Benz Classic Center. I'm like a fat kid eating cake in here. There were three 300SL gull-wing coupes in amazing shape and a really cool 300SL roadster. This is my first time seeing one of the old gull-wings in person. + +Beautiful red 300SL gull-wing + +We went to Dana Point and checked into our hotel. We usually love just hanging out at the Doheny State Beach but the weather was actually kind of nasty. We ended up spending the rest of the day at the spa at the Laguna Cliffs Marriott Resort & Spa where we signed up for massages. It was really relaxing. + +We didn't have enough time to go this visit... but usually one of our favorite places to go in this area for a sunset is the San Clemente Pier. Parking is usually kind of tough but once you get a spot you can walk out on the pier. Someone told me that the pier is almost a mile long. You can go fishing, stop at some of the restaurants and stores there, and watch the waves come in. I love kicking back and watching the sun drop. Here's a picture from when we did go last October (2009): + +Sunset at the San Clemente Pier +## Day three + +We had to leave super early the next day to drive from Dana Point up to San Simeon (we had to be there before 11am). Since we needed to make good time, we left at 5am and went north on I-5 although if you have time I think you can cruise on Highway 1 the whole way. Going through L.A. is the worst part; it sucks no matter what time you are driving through there. Once we got out of L.A., we switched over to Highway 1 and just cruised until we got to Hearst Castle. + +The entrance to Hearst Castle + +My parents told me about this place. They did a cruise down the coast of California a few years ago and did all of the tours. Apparently it’s property that the owner, William Hearst, inherited from his parents. He went crazy and built this huge castle. After he passed away, his family donated the property (including the contents of the house) to the state of California. + +William Hearst had a lot of money and built an amazing modern day castle. When you get to the park, you have to take a tour bus up this winding road until you actually get to the property. It’s amazing to see the artifacts and the interior of the castle. Mr. Hearst had a lot of stuff imported from Europe that probably wouldn’t be legal to import today; like there were real ruins from Greece imported and put back together around the outdoor pool. + +The outdoor pool at Hearst Castle + +We only did tours 1 and 2. You have to actually take the bus up and down for each tour, which can be a pain in the ass since it takes about 20 minutes or more to go each way. We had time for more tours but we didn’t want to get on the bus again. We got in the car and got back to the beautiful Highway 1 cruising. + +From everything I read, the area between San Simeon and Carmel is the most scenic part of Highway 1. Some places I read about online ranked it as one of the most beautiful drives in the world. It’s even more beautiful in a convertible. Weather was perfect... lots of sunshine and beautiful coastline. + +Beautiful coastline along Highway 1 + +When you’re driving through the Big Sur you get into really beautiful wooded areas with lots of great views of the coast. Someone recommended a resort called the Post Ranch Inn which is in the midst of all this. I looked it up online and it’s amazing... but I couldn’t justify the cost for a one night stay. + +We ended up staying at the Big Sur Lodge. The lodge was in the middle of the woods and had a lot of character; I loved it. The restaurant didn't look like much at first and it seemed kind of understaffed... but the food was great. Someone back there knew how to cook. Looking at the walls, there were old black and white pictures of the original staff from the late 1930s. + +The only bad thing about this place was this couple in the dining room. They're an older (60s) white couple with an adopted black baby. I'm cool with that... but the baby was SCREAMING it's head off. Not cool. It was enough of a problem that most everyone left. We hurried up and ate and left also. + +We walked back to our room and got all settled in. That's when we found out that couple was actually in the room next to us because the baby released blood curdling shrieks. I was so mad at that baby. I called the front desk and they were nice enough to switch us rooms and we got to bed. + +## Day four + +The next day was my favorite day of the trip. This part of the Highway 1 is unmatched; it's the most beautiful drive I've ever been on. I was comfortable with the drive but my new wife wasn't so much. We cruised with the top down and it’s unreal. What an amazing coastline. With the breeze hitting you and seeing the height of the cliffs you're driving next to... you just feel so alive. We just drove slow and took in the scenery. + +More coastline including the Bixby Creek Bridge + +After a fun drive, we ended up in Monterey. We got off an exit from Highway 1 for the "Pebble Beach 17 mile drive". You drive up to one of the 5 gates and it cost about 9 bucks to get in, which includes a brochure that tells you about the area. On one hand it's just a private neighborhood that rich people live. But there are a few stops that are picture perfect, like the famous "Lone Cyprus". Definitely a great drive to do a picnic on. We drove slow and probably spent about 2 hours in the area. After that, we stopped at the Pebble Beach Market and got some drinks to go. + +A scenic stop along the 17 mile drive + +Our next stop was the Santa Cruz. My friend Bud told me about the beach boardwalk there and how he and his wife Dee recently went for the first time in years. Games, food, and fun. + +5 minutes after we got out of the car I was throwing baseballs at plates for prizes. I wasn't going to leave without doing the roller coaster that Bud told me about, the Giant Dipper. It’s an old school wooden roller coaster. I was able to convince Maggie to go and we jumped on (she had never been on one before). Man it was crazy, really fun. I bought the picture, check out Maggie (she had her eyes closed the whole time). + +Maggie and I on the Giant Dipper roller coaster + +We left Santa Cruz for the short drive up the coast to Half Moon Bay. The drive along the coast is just so beautiful. On the way, you can stop at the Año Nuevo state park to check out the Elephant seals. + +We got in town and drove right up to the Ritz-Carlton. I came here with my family in 2003 but we only looked around. There are paths that you can walk or bicycle on that are several miles long around the hotel. When you go along the path, you'll see stunning coastline views. There's also access to the beach which is really cool. + +The hotel from one of the walking paths + +We went to a really nice dinner in the "Conservatory" area. Had some gourmet food and watched the sun go down. Once the sun dropped, the staff comes out and lights up the fire pits. You can see a bunch of folks gathered around those just talking. We went to the fitness center and relaxed with some swimming. The hotel itself has this huge spotlight on top aimed right down at the beach so that you could see the waves coming in. I’ve never seen anything like it. + +We ordered some dessert to go from the bar and headed back to the room. When we opened the doors we were surprised. While we were out, the staff had setup the room; there was romantic music playing, the large HDTV was set to a fireplace channel, the lighting was soft, and there were flower petals all over the bed and table. Small touches like this made the whole trip really memorable. + +Roses on the bed +## Day five + +The next day we got the Benz from the valet and started working our way up to San Francisco. First stop was the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose. We had always seen that on TV and thought it would be cool. It was definitely interesting. We did two tours which was a bit much. I think the main tour is enough. + +Winchester mystery house + +We checked out two parks in San Francisco. First we stopped by the Alamo Square park. This is where the "six sisters" houses are located. I remember seeing those on the TV show "Full House". Just so you know, I really hate the show Full House, but I thought it would be cool to see this. + +The park was small but nice. There are a lot of grassy areas to just sit down and relax. Great place for a picnic. The area of the grass closest to the street had all kinds of foreign tourists taking their picture in front of the houses. + +A set of houses known as the Six Sisters + +The next stop was the Golden Gate Park. I had found a few places to go that sounded great. I’ve never been here, so we had the GPS out. I’d have to say that in a city as old and large as San Francisco, the GPS is almost useless. It gave us so much trouble with directions that I almost threw it in the garbage. We didn’t find the aquarium which we came to see, we only drive around inside the park. + +Afterwards, we drove to some viewing areas to see the Golden Gate bridge. I was trying to get a shot of the car so I asked some folks to move out of the picture. I was like "Guys, sorry, I drove over a thousand miles to get here". It turned out they all came from Israel and were like "Well, we came 10,000 miles". I felt bad, but they did get out of the way + +The Benz in front of the Golden Gate bridge + +We stayed over by at Fisherman’s Wharf. Yeah, it’s a touristy area, but I like it. I love talking with the hobos and watching the street performers. We caught two break-dancing shows which were crazy; lots of fun to watch. We saw this one guy do a backflip over these two guys. + +Break dancers at Fisherman's Wharf + +Since we live in Arizona, this was finally a chance for Maggie to have some real fresh good seafood. I don't eat seafood, so I was more about the sourdough. We stopped at the famous Boudin Bakery for dinner and got more sourdough to go on the way out. + +## Day six + +The next day, I took Maggie over to China Town. I found an area close to the gate to China Town on Bush Street, right around the corner of Mason. Dammit. I scraped my rim on the curb trying to parallel park on the hill. Oh well. I parked, filled up the meter (it said 1 hour max) and off we went. + +Gate to China Town + +China town is great. It’s another tourist place but its fun to walk around and do some shopping. I got a silk robe and she found a place called the Wok Shop where we got a huge Wok and a bunch of cookware. + +When we got back the car wasn’t there. Maybe it was another block down. I realized about 5 minutes later that they towed it. Those f'ing assholes. I found the area I remembered parking. It said "Mon – Fri, 7am – 6pm 1 hour maximum" on the meter. I later found out that is 1 hour for truck loading only. + +So we had to bail the car out from AutoReturn. Good thing I grabbed the GPS before leaving the car! We punched in the address, 450 7th steet, and set it to give directions on foot. + +On the way there, this black guy missing all kinds of teeth tried to sell me cocaine. There were a lot of soup kitchens on the way and people are just openly smoking crack. This black lady was holding her pipe screaming "I 'member when my mama was a little girl, mmm hmm". Maggie was kind of scared and had her wok gripped like a baseball bat. I tuned those people out, I was more focused on what I'd be screaming at the Auto Return people. + +Our car inside the impound lot + +I cussed at the lady behind the bullet proof glass and paid the stupid $450 dollars. We got the car back and went over it. It didn’t have any damage so that’s good. We took it back to the hotel and parked in a safe spot. + +If we didn’t get towed, we were going to drive over the golden gate to Sausalito. There are a lot of great restaurants along the coast. After some lunch you can hike the nearby Muir woods. I went there with my family in 2003 and it was great to see all the trees and the green, especially coming from the desert here in Phoenix. + +## Day seven + +Our way back wasn’t as exciting as the drive up. We left San Francisco and got all the way to Solvang. We got there around 5pm. We got a chance to walk around and check out the city. It was really quiet but overall a cool place! We ate some dinner outside at the Heidelberg inn where a guy serenaded us with accordion music. The weather was great, the music was good, and it felt like we were in Europe just by the architecture. + +The next day we started our trip home. Overall the trip was only a week long but we had an amazing time. We got to start our life together with a trip that we’ll never forget. diff --git a/_posts/2011-04-25-why-i-quit-drinking.md b/_posts/2011-04-25-why-i-quit-drinking.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d1726b2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2011-04-25-why-i-quit-drinking.md @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Why I quit drinking" +description: "An overview of why I quit drinking. Includes a journal of my experience in the Maricopa County "Tent City" jail back in 2005." +date: 2011-04-25 21:33:56 -0700 +categories: "thoughts" +--- diff --git a/_posts/2011-11-27-living-with-ocd-anxiety.md b/_posts/2011-11-27-living-with-ocd-anxiety.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5a381c6 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2011-11-27-living-with-ocd-anxiety.md @@ -0,0 +1,27 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Living with OCD and anxiety" +description: "Reflecting back on my personal struggle with OCD and anxiety." +date: 2011-11-27 01:44:15 -0700 +categories: "ocd" +--- + +I’ve always had a hard time relaxing because my brain doesn’t know how to stop working. When I was younger, I could force myself to relax by having a few beers. This worked great for me as a teenager up and through college. I built up enough of a tolerance that I could slam a 12 pack in a 3 hour span and still write complex computer code. It got to a point where I was drinking almost every day. This obviously isn’t a great way to live your life and I ended up getting a DUI in 2005 (I wrote about that experience in a previous blog entry, “Life experience: Driving under the influence”). Part of the sentence given to me was attending counseling for a few months. After talking about alcohol for so many hours, drinking lost all of its appeal and no longer helped me relax. + +Without a way to relax, my brain would keep spinning. It gets fixated and stuck on a subject for long periods of time, to the point where I feel physically ill. I would have an upset stomach and feel extremely fatigued all the time. I’d always feel tense and on-edge. These physical symptoms started to affect my social life. I would ditch events with my best friends because I didn’t feel good. Quite often I’d start feeling light headed out of nowhere and a few times I fainted. One day when I was working at Intel, I started having unbearable chest pains. The nurse came, checked me out, and called an ambulance for me. I really had to figure out what was happening to me. With all these physical issues, my brain is starting to second guess how I feel all the time, making the problem even worse. + +In 2006, I spent a lot of time and money running tests at specialty doctors. I was diagnosed by one doctor as having Celiac disease, an allergy to gluten. I switched my diet and quit eating wheat and gluten products altogether for about a year and it did help. I lost weight and started to feel better. But the problem was still there. I got retested, this time taking a biopsy, and it turns out I didn’t have Celiac disease. I did barium tests, an endoscopy, and a colonoscopy. I had CAT scans, MRIs, just about every test in the book. The only diagnosis I got was IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). There was a gastrointestinal doctor I had saw and he told me straight up that the problem is in my head; there is no physical issue. I was insulted; what an idiot. I’m definitely not crazy. + +Sometime in 2007, I flew up to Hillsboro Oregon one time for a 3 day business trip. I’ve been there a few times, my team was actually located there. I was working on a project with a few people and really needed the face time to finish the project. The first day was really great, I had a good time and we got some good work done. I was reviewing code with a few other folks and it was really nice to see them in person. The second day I made it about halfway through the day before I started to feel ill. I excused myself towards the end of the day and went back to the hotel. + +I stayed in the room for a few hours, trying to sleep and relax, but this time I couldn’t handle it. Something is wrong with me. With all the tests I had done coming back with me being fine, the problem had to be in my head. That stupid doctor was right all along. This was hands down the hardest thing I’ve ever had to accept in my life. I felt like a weak piece of crap for not being able to beat this, especially considering how good my problem solving skills are. I had a break down that night and called my stepmom and let her know what was going on. I had no idea what to do with myself at this point. I ended up canceling my stay and leaving Hillsboro early the next morning. + +When I got back home, I started seeking out mental health experts. I met with the first person who was available, a lady named Danielle. After a few visits she diagnosed me with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). It was great having a name for the problem and a plan for how to treat it. The really horrible feelings I have been having were called panic attacks. These are seriously the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. You get pumped up with adrenaline, your muscles get all tense, you start hyperventilating. It got to the point where I was obsessing and getting scared about having panic attacks. What happens if I go out and meet with my friends and an attack happens? These attacks were happening several times a week, sometimes several times a day. + +I got on medicine. It took a few weeks to kick in but I started to feel better. Much better. The thing I noticed the most after taking the medicine was that I started to feel extremely happy again. After living with this problem for almost 3 years without a way to relax, I was seriously suffering from depression. It’s weird admitting that because I didn’t feel sad or anything. I guess I just didn’t feel happy. + +Every day since then, my life has gotten much better. Relaxing is much easier. Once I started taking that medicine, I started to feel like myself again. I started having feelings I hadn’t had in years. Things just kept getting better. I switched jobs and now I’m doing something that I love every day. I met a great girl and ended up getting married. I never pictured myself where I am today when I was struggling with those issues. + +I still deal with the issue, it’s just nowhere near as bad as it was. As much as I’d like it to just go away, it hasn’t. Every day I take steps to get myself in better shape. There are good days and bad days. However, like any problem out there, once you know the root cause, it’s a lot easier to solve the problem. The hardest part through it all was knowing my thoughts were irrational but just not being able to make them stop. In my case, it was not even possible for my mind to overcome the issue. I had to get medicine to get my brain up and running again. + +So that’s what I’ve been dealing with for the past few years. Feels really good to sit down and reflect on it. If you know me personally, you’ll know how I joke about being crazy. I’m not insane, but these are the issues I’ve been dealing with. diff --git a/_posts/2014-01-03-2013-year-of-releases.md b/_posts/2014-01-03-2013-year-of-releases.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a6c8e4d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2014-01-03-2013-year-of-releases.md @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "2013: A year of releases" +description: "The past few months have been life changing in a lot of ways. In my free time over the past 2 years, a group of friends and I formed a company and have been working hard to finish creating a game that some of us had originally started in 2002. We made great progress, this …" +date: 2014-01-03 01:18:43 -0700 +categories: "accomplishments" +--- + +The past few months have been life changing in a lot of ways. + +In my free time over the past 2 years, a group of friends and I formed a company and have been working hard to finish creating a game that some of us had originally started in 2002. We made great progress, this time targeting the Xbox 360… and then I found out my wife Margarita and were expecting our first baby. It quickly became a race to finish the game before the baby was due in September. + +Morgopolis Studios +The friendly staff of Morgopolis Studios, creators of Magicians & Looters +We put in a lot of hard work and finished our game, Magicians & Looters, in August… our first live sales day in the Xbox Live Indie Games store was actually August 23rd. Finishing this game was a huge personal accomplishment for me. Before moving to Arizona, I had never been able to talk about programming or game design with anyone before, at least face-to-face. The closest experience I had was with a great friend of mine, Bill, who I met on AOL in 1993, back when I was a HyperCard developer. We’d talk for hours long distance on the phone about code; nobody I knew in “real life” was very interested in programming. I moved to Arizona in 2001 to attend a school called UAT and this introduced me to a lot of great people that DID like writing code, many that I still talk with regularly. Two of those people are Dan and Justin. The three of us (along with a fourth member, Brad) were members of the game development club, we came up with a “simple” game project that we could all work on and (hopefully) finish. We worked on the game for a good 2 years before calling it quits. It’s not that we didn’t want to finish the game, it’s just that we needed to go out there and get jobs after graduating. + +Working on Magicians & Looters back in 2002 at UAT +Working on Magicians & Looters back in 2002 at UAT +I jumped into the business world, getting much better at what I do over the years and writing lots of great code along the way… but Magicians & Looters would pop into my head every so-often. Justin put an amazing amount of work into the art and story of the game and I always felt ashamed that we never really got to put it in front of anybody, other than our friends back in the university days. So when we FINALLY finished the game, released it, and started getting feedback… wow, it was an amazing time for me. Good or bad, I was delighted to just see people talking about our game. Luckily, it was fairly well received, which made that feeling even more warm and fuzzy. + +http://thexblig.com/2013/08/25/review-magicians-looters/ +http://www.fateofthegame.com/indie-review-magicians-looters/ +http://indiegamerchick.com/2013/09/11/magicians-looters/ +Not quite one month after getting our game out there, my wife Margarita and I had our first kid, a healthy baby boy named Michael. We were at the hospital for a week solid; before that time, I don’t think the reality of being a dad had really “hit me” yet. It was (and is) a really cool experience. The baby was delivered via C-section because of some complications and I got to be there with her for all of it. Me being nervous of course, I tell the doctors before they take the baby out, “Hey guys, if that baby is black, I’m leaving” and got a few laughs… and the next thing you know, I’m holding a baby. I cut the umbilical cord and basically spent every moment for the next few days with Margarita and our new baby, trying to figure out the whole dad thing. As of right now, Mikey just hit 3 months and he’s doing great; I’m really enjoying being a dad. + +Clifton men +Clifton men just snoozing; the pack leader,the new baby, and the pooch +During the whole pregnancy and also the development cycle with Magicians & Looters, work at my actual job had been extremely busy. I work in the hosting department of GoDaddy and am part of the development team which works on Plesk Hosting, Windows Server 2012 hosting using the Parallels Plesk control panel. This is a new product we created from the ground up in a matter of months and I was thrilled to be a part of this. All of our development lead up to October, when we planned to launch and start selling the product to customers. A ton of hard work went into this product by everybody on our team. 3 days after Michael was born, I was back at work, writing code and working on tasks. We hit our goal and released in October and we’ve been improving the product ever since. + +Plesk Hosting +The product I worked on, Plesk Hosting +So in retrospect, 2013 was a great year… a life changing one. I’m extremely proud of all three of my accomplishments: Releasing a video game, having a baby, and releasing a new hosting product. diff --git a/_posts/2014-02-05-thinking-about-life-goals.md b/_posts/2014-02-05-thinking-about-life-goals.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..66c2cfa --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2014-02-05-thinking-about-life-goals.md @@ -0,0 +1,31 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Thinking about life goals" +description: "Reflecting on where I am now in life, what I'd like to accomplish in the years to come, and realizing I have to drop some goals in order to focus." +date: 2014-02-05 01:51:21 -0700 +categories: "thoughts" +--- + +I love my life. My friends, my family… The work I do every day as a computer programmer that actually gives my life a sense of fulfillment and meaning. But I’m at a point now where I often find myself thinking in-depth about the life I’ve made for myself… asking, “What’s next?”. Projects get completed at work, paychecks come in… Personal debt goes down, balance in the retirement account goes up. When you’re a kid, you’re conditioned to think about what you want to do when you “grow up”. For me that meant figuring out what I wanted to do for my professional working life… but I don’t think I ever really put any thought into what I wanted to do with myself after I grew up. + +When you’re young, you have the luxury of pursuing any dreams you have and honestly just doing whatever you want. You’re like an artist with a chisel in front of a solid block of marble; you can make any kind of statue you’d like. You’ll try things… they might not turn out the way you want, but you can learn from your experiences and either get better or give up and try something else. I’m not calling myself old by any means, but each year that goes by I’ve definitely gotten wiser and at the same time more ingrained in the life I’ve created for myself as things start to take shape. Sticking with that marble statue analogy, you can keep carving pieces off as you work on this masterpiece of yours and eventually, after years of doing this, you get to a point where you’ve got a pretty solid idea of what you’re working on and you have an opportunity to pause and think about how you’d like to finish the project. + +It would be pretty easy at any given point to just say, “Fuck it”, and keep living life day to day, just seeing how things play out. But I personally think life is just way too short to do that. I’ve gotten this far and dammit, I want to have the best possible time on this planet that I can before I’m gone. + +Using this time to reflect, I’m realizing that you’re evolving with each decision you make and the experiences you have are like chipped off pieces in this statue you’re carving. Each goal you had in life adjusts itself as time goes by, getting a higher or lower priority. This crossroads is a point where you can look at all the goals you’ve came up with for your life…the priority you’ve associated with them… and then pick the ones you’re going to do, knowing very well that there are things that you’re going to die never having accomplished. + +For example, I’m thinking about how much I used to enjoy learning about other cultures and wanting to travel the world. I studied Japanese for about two years, Arabic and Hebrew for about a year each and I’ve always been somewhat decent at Spanish. As far as traveling, I’ve been to many of the states here in America (including Hawaii and Alaska) but internationally, I’ve only ever been to Mexico and Canada. But now I’m realizing that I’ll probably never see the world and I’m perfectly OK with that. And becoming proficient in any language other than Spanish? Not to sell myself short, but I really don’t think that’s happening. Which is hard to accept, thinking about the adventure of going to Europe and backpacking… or visiting Egypt to see the pyramids, or castles, gardens and pagodas in Japan. But at this point in my life, as much as I’d love to speak several languages fluently and be this amazing world traveler, there are ultimately other things I’d rather be doing which shove this dream further and further down the “bucket list”. + +I guess the overall theme I’m writing about here is focusing. When you start to realize what your favorite things in life are, what you love doing… it’s really hard to justify doing something else. There’s just not enough time, which really sucks. But I’d rather spend a lot of time doing the things I’ve loved than to spent a little time doing a whole bunch of things that I think are just “OK”. So after all this deep thought and reflection, what are some of those goals? + +## Making a difference in people’s lives +Through my job I’m getting a chance to work on great products that can make a difference in people’s lives. And although it’s hard to measure, I’d like to think I’ve personally made a big impact on coworkers at every job I’ve been at. I don’t think there are many people that forget me, that’s for sure. Whether it’s kicking ass at the project I’m working on, mentoring someone, jumping in to help fire-fight issues that come up, or just trying to keep team morale high and facilitate good communication, I want to make a difference. Outside of work too, helping people work through issues and making a positive difference in their life. + +## Paying off all of my debt +This is a huge one and it’s not exactly fun either. In fact, it sucks. I think anybody would rather be taking a trip overseas or buying a sports car. But the reality is, all I have left that I owe are my wife’s student loans and the mortgage on my house. After those are paid, I don’t owe anybody a penny. And that’s huge in my opinion. + +## Being in better shape and being there for my son +I’m not morbidly obese but I’m not skinny. And body size aside, I’m in embarrassingly bad shape, cardio-wise. If you know me, you’ll know how I have a hard time staying away from sweets and diet soda, things that are just rotting my body away. Those things do help push me through crunch times, but I’ve got a son now and I want to be able to do an activity without falling over and having a heart attack. It would be awfully hard to be a good dad sitting on the couch. + +## Living in Hawaii +I’ve only vacationed in Hawaii twice but I’ve spent almost a month and a half there total. I’ve been to Oahu, Maui, Lanai, and the big island. And later this year I’ll be going back there for my brother’s wedding, this time in Kauai. I love the beaches, the parks, and the weather. It’s really easy to idolize a place like this and think going there will “make my life complete”; but I’d honestly like to see if I could get bored of a place like this. That sounds like a great challenge to me. diff --git a/_posts/2015-01-04-the-meaning-of-life.md b/_posts/2015-01-04-the-meaning-of-life.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..54460ec --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2015-01-04-the-meaning-of-life.md @@ -0,0 +1,27 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The meaning of life" +description: "Discussing Viktor Frankl's book "Man's search for meaning". Reading this book helped change my perspective about everyday life." +date: 2015-01-04 00:58:07 -0700 +categories: "thoughts" +--- + +Back in 2011, I found a great book: +[Man’s Search for Meaning](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/080701429X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=080701429X&linkCode=as2&tag=bria07-20&linkId=VYQRUP7Y2YO73QWR) by Viktor E. Frankl + +I don’t remember how I found this book, but I’m really glad I did; reading it was a life-changing experience for me. It’s only 165 pages long, short and easy enough that I read through it in two sittings. Last nite I saw the book in my closet and re-read most of it. + +Viktor was a Jewish man practicing psychiatry in Vienna, Austria before World War 2. He was working on a book which argued that a search for meaning is essential to one’s mental health. In 1942, he and his family were arrested by the Nazis and sent to the Theresienstadt concentration camp. His personal belongings (including his book) were confiscated, he was separated from his family, and spent the rest of the war moving between death camps (including Auschwitz, Kaufering, and Türkheim) working as a psychiatrist and physician. He survived the experience and rewrote his book, continuing to be involved in the psychology field until his death in 1997. + +Viktor breaks down his entire experience at these death camps psychologically in extreme detail. This was clearly a disgusting and hopeless situation that folks were forced into. When having their human dignity taken away from them and being told they were simply objects to be exterminated, some prisoners gave up completely; thinking of themselves only as part of a mass of people being herded around the camp like an animal, ultimately to their death. But some people were able to find a reason, despite everything, to continue wanting to live and dream. Still finding some form of beauty in the world. + +He shares the words of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” + +This ties really well into what he outlines as three ways you can discover your meaning in life: +1. by creating a work or doing a deed; there are things that ONLY YOU can and will do +2. by experiencing something or encountering someone; the reward of the experience (for example, love), being an achievement +3. turning unavoidable suffering into a triumph; using the challenge as a personal growth experience + +I really like the overall message he discovers and shares… that no matter how hopeless or bad a situation is, you always retain your individuality. You can choose how you decide to react to this situation and what you’ll do to cope with it. And he recognizes that each meaningful achievement you accomplish in life… a project you finish, a relationship you cherish, an experience you overcame… is a tangible asset that you own permanently, something which nobody can take from you. + +Viktor’s book really struck a chord with me because I’ve struggled quite a bit with mental health in the past. Being successful at your job or having material goods is not enough to make you happy. You can’t just order someone to “be happy”. Things get much clearer and there’s a definite path to happiness once you think about and identify what you want to accomplish in life (and what you’ve already accomplished). Understanding your own meaning is key to a healthy mental state. diff --git a/_posts/2015-05-18-ocd-and-anxiety-a-closer-look.md b/_posts/2015-05-18-ocd-and-anxiety-a-closer-look.md index d41b426..7875027 100644 --- a/_posts/2015-05-18-ocd-and-anxiety-a-closer-look.md +++ b/_posts/2015-05-18-ocd-and-anxiety-a-closer-look.md @@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ layout: post title: "OCD and anxiety: a closer look" description: "I live with Obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have it mostly under control, but sometimes there are bad days. This post elaborates on some of my challenges." date: 2015-05-18 21:42:00 -0700 -categories: ocd +categories: "ocd" --- I'm pretty open with folks about having OCD and I've also written briefly about my experience before in a previous blog entry, "Living with OCD and anxiety". When people ask me about it (and I encourage them to), I'm often asked, "What type of OCD do you have?". Do I wash my hands all the time? Or do I count tiles on the floor? *What's the deal*? diff --git a/_posts/2015-10-22-lessons-ive-learned.md b/_posts/2015-10-22-lessons-ive-learned.md index 5916b5b..be719e6 100644 --- a/_posts/2015-10-22-lessons-ive-learned.md +++ b/_posts/2015-10-22-lessons-ive-learned.md @@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ layout: post title: "Lessons I’ve learned in the last 12 years" description: "Life changing lessons I've learned in my career as a software engineer. TL;DR: there's always room for improvement :)" date: 2015-10-22 06:57:00 -0700 -categories: career related +categories: "career related" --- ## Work at a job you love diff --git a/_posts/2016-04-09-sharing-my-love-for-programming.md b/_posts/2016-04-09-sharing-my-love-for-programming.md index b82b18c..7d89994 100644 --- a/_posts/2016-04-09-sharing-my-love-for-programming.md +++ b/_posts/2016-04-09-sharing-my-love-for-programming.md @@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ layout: post title: "Sharing my love for programming with kids" description: "Pictures and info about a talk that Matt Smith and I did. We talked about programming with two classes at Madison #1 Middle School in Phoenix, AZ." date: 2016-04-09 09:14:00 -0700 -categories: giving back +categories: "giving back" --- Just over a week ago (March 31st), I got the opportunity to team up with my co-worker and friend Matt Smith to give a talk for two different classes at [Madison #1 Middle School](https://madisonaz.org/no1-middle-school/home/) here in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. diff --git a/_posts/2016-04-15-an-introduction-to-hosting.md b/_posts/2016-04-15-an-introduction-to-hosting.md index 4172019..e7c9a2e 100644 --- a/_posts/2016-04-15-an-introduction-to-hosting.md +++ b/_posts/2016-04-15-an-introduction-to-hosting.md @@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ layout: post title: "An introduction to hosting" description: "What is hosting? This post answers that question by sharing examples and also explaining how your web browser communicates with hosting accounts." date: 2016-04-15 09:00:00 -0700 -categories: hosting +categories: "hosting" --- Hosting is the physical place where "content" (web sites, images, files, etc) lives at. Basically, this is just another person's computer. When you hear people talking about "the cloud", they're talking about hosting. diff --git a/_posts/2016-08-07-leaving-godaddy.md b/_posts/2016-08-07-leaving-godaddy.md index 2e0a9be..65fc81c 100644 --- a/_posts/2016-08-07-leaving-godaddy.md +++ b/_posts/2016-08-07-leaving-godaddy.md @@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ layout: post title: "Why I left a job I loved" description: "After 8 great years at GoDaddy and still loving my job, I left to join a small San Francisco startup, Brave Software. Why? Read and find out :)" date: 2016-08-07 13:06:00 -0700 -categories: career related +categories: "career related" --- ![From GoDaddy to Brave](https://blog.clifton.io/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gd-to-brave.png){:class="img-responsive"} diff --git a/_posts/2018-02-07-why-im-not-interested-in-self-driving-cars.md b/_posts/2018-02-07-why-im-not-interested-in-self-driving-cars.md index d3a28fb..518453f 100644 --- a/_posts/2018-02-07-why-im-not-interested-in-self-driving-cars.md +++ b/_posts/2018-02-07-why-im-not-interested-in-self-driving-cars.md @@ -1,9 +1,9 @@ --- layout: post -title: "Why I'm not interested in self-driving cars" +title: "Why I'm not interested in self-driving cars" description: "I can definitely appreciate why folks want to solve the self-driving cars problem. But I personally believe that it's an overly complex problem which is not worth solving." -date: 2018-02-07 23:28:00 -0700 -categories: thoughts +date: 2018-02-07 23:28:00 -0700 +categories: "thoughts" --- Being in the tech world, it's hard to go even one day without hearing self-driving cars mentioned. On Twitter, on the news, or in everyday conversations. Here in Chandler Arizona, you'll even see a decent number of the Waymo cars driving around. It's really easy to spot them because of how unusual they look: a white minivan with a huge siren looking thing mounted on top and a green W on each side. diff --git a/blog.md b/blog.md index 55038f1..a553f0f 100644 --- a/blog.md +++ b/blog.md @@ -1,5 +1,5 @@ --- -layout: home +layout: home-extended title: Blog - Thoughts, stories and ideas. description: Blog index. You'll find all entries here (newer entries on top). nav_title: Blog diff --git a/index.md b/index.md index 898bdff..99b089b 100644 --- a/index.md +++ b/index.md @@ -1,5 +1,5 @@ --- -layout: default-landing +layout: default-extended description: Brian Clifton is an American computer programmer and businessman living in Chandler, Arizona. ---